satans condo

watching over from the Gay Wrestlers as I churn the curds into a coagulated frenzy called Chevre. shut up im bored. no docs on parasitic twins or House wife reality so the boob is off and nothing to do. look I fucked up. I made jelly today outta satans balls AKA Prickly pears. well jokes on me. good ole Satan sprung a massive leak under my sink and flodded all my stashed crap under the sink. waiting for the Sherpa to arrive and save the day.

no skelator here this girl EATS

lil sumtin sumptin

snacks on a fall eve at Beauregard winery in Bonny Doon to help raise some skrill for the school up in the Doon. simple clean local and seasonal. so simple yet gets so screwed up every day. some folks pay more attention to their shoes than what they put in their mouths? odd. very odd. As I look down at my beloved sock monkey slippers.

When I begin my rants n bitch session think of me as this beauty just tryin my best to get that word out on how low low low the bar is in the food scene is in Santa Cruz. Now Im going not not make friends here I have a feeling. But dont suck dont try to fool the public(house made ranch dosnt have guar gum and comes in a fucking Tub) . We do have a movement slow as it is that I love. BUT BUT BUT BUT a night out in a restaurant is a hard expensive gamble. Y'all keep asking me where do I eat in Santa Cruz. I uhhh hem and haw bidding for time to come up with an ansewer. uuuh hmmm lets see. Well i did say OSWALDS god Demani I love you....i was such a fan back in the day. Then ya moved and well let see. I licked my lips at every drop of the muddled organic wild strawberry Mojito. I sucked my fingers after the Fois. ( fishin with dynomite) Fois is the star. Then the glasees crashed and the waiter might as well farted as he told me....The Halibut special tonight is from Alaska. WTF ? soooo in the fricking middle of a very prolific Halibut season right here in our own bay and selling for as low as $4.00a lb. AND you decide to pay for a frozen hunk of Alaskan halibut age unknown and how much energy did it take to get here. Piss . really . Took the piss right outta me. Fine SC keep allowing this and nothing will change., just cause the waiter is hip and the glasses are Riddel dont let your reality be fooled. anyone can frost a turd.

Who needs weapons of mass distruction when all ya gotta do is push someones face in a bag of these evil sweet monsters......

satans ballsack

Blow torch aborted tongs brought out. OHHHH the experiment I think has worked. I added 2 C of pippen apple juice to the slurry of Satans Ballsacks (cactus Pears) juice and juiced a big hunk of ginger a dash of grated nutmeg a few bags o pectin and sugar. Boil boil toil toil now the waiting game begins......

A blow torch they say......I love Cactus Pears. a blow torch to get those pesky hairs removed before the invade your skin with invisible fury. My kinda fruit. its fucking cold today.

Tues day morn and a bag full of cactus pears from Ninas Backyard. Again another potential food source saved from rotting "on the vine" as they say. the more jams and jellies i make the more people coming out of the wood work to donate otherwise wasted food. This is SLOW food living as it was intended. The picture isnt the pears (still in trunk of my Hoopdy) but the Gorgeous Brown Turkey figs that were left over after a hipster wedding would have rotted if I did not resucue. now they are lucious fig n fennel pollen jam to be spread on slams of crusty bread and Salumi. just sayin...

Day in the life.

Palm Spring nov 2010 one part of several for the folks to nibble during my sisters nuptuals.

nuff said

here we go Mable the jam is with us....

avail
brown turkey fig n fennel pollen

cactus pear pasilla chili jelly

winter chow chow with wild local honey bourbon dried cherries cranberries pumpkin seeds slmonds and soy nuts

pipen apple jelly with thyme

Fuyu Persimmon chutney

all the fruit comes from Santa Cruz County from back yard gardens

friendincheeses@gmail.com

so back to the jam......Im cooking like a crazed fruit maniac, hosting winery events feeding people left and right and attempting to make cheese inbetween all this and hope I remember to feed the chickens. The web site in in construction but.....what do I say? Fuckers keep it local keep it seasonal and stay true to your tounge and your tounge only. Why APPROPRIATE JAMS? Do you want to put an inappropriate jam in your mouth. odds are you have your whole life.

Jam jam the magical fruit ..........Tabithas Appropriate Jams is now in full force....Now what.

This past year has been a buzz of everything NOT Food Network or too much trickery and food tom foolery. I know konw my ass can cook but market. uh hmmm ahhhh shit really? it just cant stand on its own for what it is and sell like crazy, WHA? yea.

my first batches have been everything local and alot of gifts of fruit from friends backyards. Three flats of Brown Turkey Figs landed in my lap so the pot was filled the balsamic was poured and the fennel pollen was dusted. POOF. my first jam was had for all to enjoy.

fackkkk

I lost my five paragraph tale on the sad state of the edible union..not sure I can go back only go forward, thus it will be another day when something in my food life comes up to go on about....shite living on a vineyard way on a hill can suck for internet connection. that being said off to water my pumpkins.

what do we do when they only offer frosting on a turd?

well I have let this baby sit for some time thinking WTF do I have to add to the vast world of rants raves, opinions,cute little diddies and the such all over the web. Everyone an armchair expert on everything. I am not just a girl