ICE ICE BABY

The season is here for roasting, smoking, bbq ing, deep frying etc etc.....BIRDS. I didn't have a picture of the wild turkeys that cruz through the vineyard every day eating a grape or two (hee hee) and harass my chickens in captivity. By the way I spent less than ten bucks on the chicken set up. Everything was found items from friends and around the vineyard. the wire cables were around a water tank ,I stretched them into the dome and added a disco ball. The girls are freakin hilarious ,when friends come over we grab a libation and sit around enjoying a little chicken TV. The garden is fueled by the girls as well. ok back to the season to fuck up a Turkey. well roasting. good idea right? I'm assuming you brined the girl over night blah blah blah its the cooking that does you in.... Fricassseed the wings and thighs but the breast isnt done. simple science. density issue. These commercial buggars even with out hormones have been bred to grow big boobs for your eating and viewing pleasure. (sounds familiar?!)soooooooo lets see. before you rub her down with generous pats of sweet cream butter and stuff her full of fruits and herbs(no no no stuffing up there dahlin temp will never get to proper place with out distroying bird in the process and distroy your loo a few hours later)Ok Ok so get some freezer packes the small white ones freeze them layed over a large can so to have a nice curve to fit on the bird. As you are bringing your bird to room temp before cooking commences, ice the birds wings thighs and small bits. . I wrap with an ace bandage. Now you have a breast plate at room temp that will by volume will take a longer time to come to temp. The small bits of dark meat areas have chilled to almost freeze,thus takes more time and energy to get flesh to finish. Voila the beast will be tamed and ready all at the basically same time. Ohh take the packs off please before you pop in over smoker bbq or (dumb ass) you OSH Bought Deep fryer(have silver cream ready for you drunken 3rd degree burn)
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